Synchronicities of song

feet crushing grapes

I’m not averse to a little whine, but squashed and fermented grapes are not my thing. Instead of reaching for a drink when times are bleak, I have three sources of solace:

  • nature
  • human creativity
  • affection and connection.

Since the bleak has been smeared about a bit lately, I’ve been drinking in the cloudless blue sky and enjoying the antics of garden-flitting birds — finches, tree-creepers, galahs, red wattle birds, eastern and crimson rosellas, and a couple of female satin bower birds which I like to call Plolives… because they are plump and olive-coloured and it took me a while to work out what they actually were.

I’ve also, as always, been reading and listening to music.

I love it when authors include a playlist in the book and there are songs on it I love and new songs to discover. I have the latest Seanan McGuire InCryptid book, Calculated Risks, on my too-be-read pile and I know there will be just such a list in there.

I love it when writers talk about the music they write to – the songs that are the battle anthems or signature themes for their characters, or the moody and atmospheric music they use to sink into the right/write mindset. There was a lovely flurry of suggestion on the Australian Speculative Fiction Group’s FB page last week which included soundtracks and game scores and ambient music from Burial and Boards of Canada (thanks, Ben Marshall!).

And there have been a couple of delightful synchronicities lately which have made the world feel more connected.

A couple of years ago I followed a link to The Spellbinding Swedish Song That Calls Cows Home (at atlasobscura.com). Kulning – the herding call – is one of those weird and wonderful… magical… things that people do as if it’s no big deal. That’s just how they roll in that corner of the world.

It’s…. I can’t even articulate how cool it is. It gave me chills when I first watched it — see if it does the same for you: Kulning – a farewell song to the cows – YouTube

Then I was reading A Song of Flight by Juliet Marillier – the third in her Warrior Bard series, which is out soon (I received an advance reading copy and I’ll be posting a review about it soon) – and one of the new Swan Island recruits uses this cry to avert disaster. Ooh, chills again. I love how this has been woven into the story and how it is, indeed, magic. I can’t help but imagine the author listening to that YouTube clip and thinking, “I have to use this!” And who could blame her?

Two weeks ago, I had a set of headphones popped onto my ears as I was told, “listen to this.” The this in question was The Hu, a Mongolian folk rock and heavy metal band, doing an English language version of their song Wolf Totem featuring Jacoby Shaddix of Papa Roach.

The sound that The Hu create is just amazing. I recommend watching the original Wolf Totem on YouTube for the joyous juxtaposition of the Mongol hordes on Harley Davidsons. And I know it’s wise to not read the comments but I noticed one comment from a dad whose fairy-tutu-wearing daughter referred to it as “the song with the werewolf singing!!” Which is a fantastic description of the effect of heavy metal throat singing.

Imagine my delight, then, when I read the latest book by Patricia Briggs in her Alpha and Omega series – Wild Sign – and found that the werewolves were, indeed, singing this song. It was just perfect.

If you’ve got a perfect book and music combination to recommend, or your own story of a synchronicity of song, I’d love to hear it.

 

 

 

Witches, please

There’s something endlessly fascinating about witches.

Whether they are fairy tale villains or femme fatales; maidens, mothers or crones; mentors or conspirators or everyday women being persecuted for their uppity attitudes, witches make for great stories. And, across years of reading, I’ve met some fantastic witch characters.

Lolly Willowes. Eva Ernst. The Gale women. Paige Winterbourne. America’s Routewitches. Granny Weatherwax and Tiffany Aching. Baba Yaga. Diana Bishop. Gillian and Sally Owens. Minerva, Courtney, Agnes, Nahri, Jadis, Miryem, Penny, Ekaterina, Jane, Alexandra and Sukie. Mrs Fairfax and Madame Olympia. I could go on, but I’d better stop.

No, wait… I finished reading Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir last night (hot damn, what a book), and I must add Harrowhark Nonagesimus to this list. I mean, necromancy is a specialised kind of witchcraft and Harrow is… well, she’s horrible and she’s awesome. The best kind of witch.

Doubtless, you’ve got your own favourite fictional witches – please share because I’m always open to reading recommendations. And today’s final recommendation from me is a foretelling of lovely witchy things to come.

It’s a toffee-dipped apple, seeping poisoned juices from its rotten core.

It’s a cold wind blowing no good, whispering words that curdle on the edge of comprehension.

It’s a lonely road and a sullen, flickering light, glimpsed through dead branches, bone-bleached by the full moon.

In short, it’s GOOD SOUTHERN WITCHES.

Editor J.D. Horn of Curious Blue Press has assembled a clever coven of tales about witches from the south-eastern states of America. As the blurb says:

This collection is a love letter to the witch, in all her glorious and fearsome incarnations, because—you have to admit—even when she’s wicked, she’s still damned good.

You want witches? Good Southern Witches has “Baba Yaga reimagined as a Southern socialite, Kentucky granny witches, Texas water witches, Tennessee tricksters, North Carolina guardians, Georgia killers, Mississippi virgins, and Louisiana whores.”

What’s more, this anthology has Tace Bolley, my very own southern witch, who has a tale to tell about Uncle Amos Polkinghorne’s apple orchard which, as she puts it, “ain’t so sweet, neither.”

Publication date is 13 April 2021 and you can pre-order your Kindle copy on Amazon and your paperback copy soon.

I’m looking forward to seeing Tace in company with her southern sisters and reading the hell out of this anthology to discover a new batch of fabulous fictional witches.

 

(My banner image was cropped from a photo by Susann Mielke which she shared on Pixabay).

Wednesday keeps it creepy

woman and dark library stairs

It’s been a while since we last enjoyed the etymological delights of a Word for Wednesday feature.

So, let’s delve into the archives and explore some book related terms and then we’ll have a story…

Archives, etymologically speaking, according to our good friends at the Online Etymology Dictionary, derives originally from the Ancient Greek word for public records – ta arkheia – the plural of arkheion which was the building where the records were kept.  That word derives from arkhein which means to be the first, through the derivations which gave primacy to government as the ‘first place’.

It’s the same root of the arch in archduke and archipelago and arch-villain – a Latinised form of the Greek arkh-, arkhi- “first, chief, primeval” . We’ve already looked at the class-conscious derivation of villain, but let’s make a bad pun for a prime evil book-related sidestep for a moment and consider Arkham.

You might recognise the word from DC Comics’s notorious, fictional Arkham Asylum – more correctly the ‘Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane’, Gotham City’s distinctly porous (although allegedly high-security) facility for detaining psychopaths such as The Joker. Within Gotham’s backstory, it was named by the psychiatrist Armadeus Arkham, in honour of his mother who died prematurely… with assistance.

Batman and Joker from DC Comics cropped from image by Daryl Govan from PixabayAnyway, Batman editor Jack C. Harris and writer Dennis O’Neil actually named Arkham Asylum in 1974  in homage to the works of H.P. Lovecraft, most immediately his fictional town of Arkham, Massachusetts (based significantly on the real town of Salem). By the above etymology, Arkham would probably mean ‘first settlement’ because of its common Old English suffix -ham.

Miskatonic – the name of both the river and the university in Lovecraft’s Arkham – is also etymologically interesting. There’s nothing good about the prefix ‘mis-‘ since it’s either from the Old English/Proto Germanic ‘mis-‘ meaning bad or wrong, or it’s from the Old French/Latin ‘mes-‘ meaning, er, bad or wrong.

It lucks out either way.

Chthonic is a lovely old word meaning ‘of the underworld’ from the Ancient Greek word for the earth – khthōn. Or maybe Lovecraft was thinking of catatonic when he named the river – the medical Latin catatonia is made from Ancient Greek kata meaning down and tonos for tone.

‘Bad underworld’ or ‘wrongly toned down’… either is appropriate for Miskatonic.

octopus tentacles

While we’re talking about fictional places, what’s the deal with ‘fiction’?

Firstly, it’s not etymologically related to fact. Facts were deeds before they were truths – from the Latin factum, meaning an event or occurrence. What they are now is apparently entirely arguable…

Fiction came into English in the 15th century from an Old French word ficcion meaning a fabrication or dissimulation. This in turn came from the Latin fictionem – a fashioning or feigning, which came from the same word root as fingers in the sense of shaping or devising something.

Any writers out there know all about shaping their fiction.

Go on, ask us – we’ll tell you!

And speaking of fiction it’s time to wrap things up, literally, with the repulsive anthropodermic bibliopegy. Well, that’s etymologically easy isn’t it? We just go to straightforward Ancient Greek roots to find…

  • anthropo – from anthropos = man or human
  • dermic – from derma = skin
  • biblio – from biblion = book
  • pegy – from pegia = to fasten

So it’s… fastening a book, or book-binding, using human skin.

That’s… disgustingly creepy.

Bookbinding using human skin is real enough, but it’s more common in fiction than in real life.

I wrote a short story, Under the Skin, which features such a loathsome text held in the archives of St Guinefort’s Library for the Thaumaturgic Arts.

Architectural drawing of Edinburgh Central Library by George Washington BrowneIf you’ve ever visited the lovely Edinburgh Central (Carnegie) Library on George IV Bridge, you might recognise some of the inspiration for St Guinefort’s slightly more fantastical library.

So follow that link to my story page, my friends, and have yourself a delightfully creepy Wednesday.

 

IMAGE credits:

Banner cropped from an image by WILLGARD from Pixabay

Joker cropped from an image by Daryl Govan from Pixabay

Tentacles image was photographed by me at the Southern Cross University’s Solitary Islands Aquarium in Coffs Harbour a few years ago.

Architectural drawing of Edinburgh Central Library by George Washington Browne

Refuge and resources

old gate with sign 'please shut the gate'Not wanting to catastrophise or anything, but now seemed like a good time to post about some free online resources that I love and which others may not be aware of.

In the coming weeks/months you might find yourself with some thumb-twiddling time (or possibly climbing the walls). What to do if you get bored of binge-watching and you’ve delved to the bottom of your physical TBR pile of books? What to do if, for reasons we don’t need to dwell on, you can’t physically nip down to the local library to restock on books, magazines, DVDs and CDs?

Well, you can still visit the library, even if you can’t do it physically, as long as you have internet access. Your public library service very likely offers a glorious multitude of online resources that you can use, as long as you’re a member (and it’s free to be a member so it’s all good).

Here are some of my favourite online library resources:

BOOKS: Obviously books! Your public library should give you access to one or more eBook and eAudio book providers. You may be able to do a single library catalogue search and get back all results, both physical and digital, and borrow from there. Or you might have to access your library’s online resources page and log into the eBook provider to search for eBooks from that particular provider. That might sound complicated, but it’s really not. It just means you might have to check in a couple of places. I regularly use BorrowBox and OverDrive and access the files of the borrowed eBooks through Adobe Digital Edition and CloudLibrary, which I’ve set up on my laptop. Chances are good your library has clear instructions on how to get started with eBooks and, if you get stuck, technical help is only a phone call away.

READERS’ ADVISORY (RA) SERVICES: Not sure what to read next? No handy librarian to ask? PM me, or DIY with eResources like Books and Authors or Novelist Plus or Who Else Writes Like? You’ll have to check to see what online RA services your library subscribes to, but they are fabulous ways to find read-alikes, genre and themed suggestions, and lists of recommended books. Then, once you’re armed with a few suggestions, you can check out the eBooks…

MUSIC: Free streaming and free downloads? Over 13 million songs with everything from classical music to Broadway showtunes to death metal? Yes! I hope your library service offers you access to Freegal like mine does. Freegal lets you search by genre or artist or song title, find new releases, music videos, most popular songs and albums, and also provides themed playlists. It’s great for finding old favourites and, if you search by song title, lots of versions of popular songs. It also has audio books and spoken word albums which include comedy routines and poetry readings and more. Hours of entertainment!

FILMS: I’m not that keen on the moving pictures thing, but if you are, check to see if your public library online resources include access to Kanopy, which lets you stream movies and documentaries.

LANGUAGES: Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn a new language? If your library has Mango Languages in its eResources, you’re in luck. Your library membership lets you log in to Mango and choose what you want to learn from over 70 languages. Best of all, if you want to impress everyone come next September 19, you can even learn Pirate.

MORE, SO MUCH MORE: Honestly, log into your library website, go to their Online Resources page and browse the list. Magazines, newspapers, articles, genealogy, video tutorials, educational kids’ games, car engine manuals (seriously!), craft and hobby resources – it’s kind of overwhelming how much stuff is just sitting there, waiting for you to discover it.

So brew your hot beverage of choice, find a comfy chair, and treat yourself to some online goodness. Learn new things, immerse yourself in fabulous fiction, discover songs you can dance to.

Stay safe, everyone, and let your library’s free online resources help you stay sane.

 

Heroines and monsters

illustration of knights jousting

I love a good once upon a time and happy ever after, and best of all I love a reimagined fairy tale. But the gender roles in many fairy stories are depressingly predictable. The boys go on adventures and quests. The girls wait: for something to happen; something to change; for a knight in shining armour to ride up, slay the monster and save them.

Sometimes, the poor dears can’t even be bothered staying awake – those girls are so passive they’re asleep.

It’s more ho hum than fe fi fo fum.

illustration of Melusine - half-woman half-dragonI prefer stories where women get to do some questing, stomping and slaying of their own. 

The new Heroines Anthology from The NeoPerennial Press is full of such tales, including a short story I wrote about the daughter of the medieval monster countess, Melusine.

A quick refresher, in case you thought she was just the two-tailed logo on the Starbucks coffee cup (yes, but…). Melusine married the Count of Anjou on the clear understanding with her husband that she’d have one day a week to herself. Curiosity, thy name is Raymond! He broke his promise and spied on her in the bath, only to discover she was half-serpent. She was unimpressed by his betrayal, sprouted wings and flew out the window, denouncing him.

You go, girl!

I’ve loved Melusine ever since I read The Wandering Unicorn by Manuel Mujica Láinez, a couple of years after that novel was translated into English by Mary Fitton in 1985. So when I needed to reimagine a woman’s story from myth or history to submit to the anthology I thought of her and her children. Now, most accounts of Melusine say she bore ten monstrous sons for Raymond, Count of Anjou.

And I wondered… what if she had a daughter?

Louise Pieper at 2019 Heroines Festival, ThirroulThe other influence on Melusine’s Daughter was the medieval ballad, from the Dutch folk tale, of Heer Halewijn. This thoroughly repulsive, magically powerful bloke was the progenitor of Bluebeard and other horrible mass-murdering chaps in folk stories and songs. The unnamed heroine princess of The Song of Lord Halewijn is a delight. She rescues herself from a dangerous situation and doesn’t take any lip from her would-be killer. Or his mum.

You can check out one of the versions of the ballad and its translation here, if you like a bit of medieval sass.

If you’d like to read Melusine’s Daughter, you can purchase the Heroines Anthology: volume 2 from The NeoPerennial Press. She’s keeping company with Cassandra and Bast and Boudicea and many more intriguing imaginings of marvellous women, all of them written by intriguing and marvellous women writers. 

I enjoyed writing a character who comes to understand it takes more than scales to make a monster, and who embraces her monstrous heritage. Just as well – there’s only three weeks left for me to finish my short story to submit for the next CSFG anthology, Unnatural Order, which is all about telling the monsters’ side of things.

So, wish me luck as I polish up some more scales.

They’re what all the cool monsters are wearing this season.

 

 

 

Writing is a gift (or it can be)

fox in the snowStill wondering what to give your writer friend or loved one for Christmas? Perhaps you’re planning to get serious about your own writing in 2019?

If the relevant writer lives in or near Canberra, here’s a great deal:

Short courses at CIT Solutions are 15% off until the end of the year and that includes the amazing creative writing courses that my writing buddy and I will be running in early 2019.

  • CAPTURE YOUR READER: a six-week course in creating compelling characters, page-turning tension and delivering on your promise to the reader.
  • WRITING LOVE, LUST & LONGING: a Saturday intensive on big and little ‘r’ romance, as well as vocabulary, anatomy and emotion.
  • SEDUCE YOUR READER: a six-week course focused on understanding your story’s heart and immersing your reader in the protagonist’s experiences and feelings.
  • WHO’S TELLING THE STORY?: a Saturday intensive on tense, voice and point of view and making sure you’re writing an unforgettable main character.

Register in any course by the end of 31 December 2018, use the SUMMER19 discount code, and you get 15% off. It’s win-win.

‘Fabulous,’ you say, ‘but what’s it got to do with that snowy fox in the banner?’ 

I’m glad you asked.

These courses are a new adventure for me and Juliette together (although goodness knows we’ve clocked up a lot of instructional hours separately) and they’re also the first string to the bow of our new company: PICARESQUE PRESS.

Every bold endeavour needs an inspirational mascot and ours is Picaro the fox, as pictured. Or perhaps it’s Picara the vixen? I couldn’t tell them apart, because at the time of our acquaintance I was living on the second floor of a terrace house in Edinburgh and the fox family lived under the garden shed next door – I never had the opportunity, or the need, to assess the gender of my vulpine neighbours.

The foxes used the suburban stone walls as their roads and came and went at will – here’s another photo, from spring, of one of them heading up the on-ramp. Look closer. Closer…

spring fox

An urban red fox is an opportunistic beast with a certain roguish charm. Clever and adaptable, they are wary, but accustomed, to the presence of humans. Here in Australia, foxes are a feral creature, responsible for the destruction of native marsupial populations which have no defence against such predators. But that’s not our beastie.

Our mascot Picara (or Picaro) is not an urban fox, nor a feral fox, but a thought-fox.

Ted Hughes wrote of every writer’s experience when he described ‘this midnight moment’s forest’, ‘the clock’s loneliness’ and the ‘blank page’ – in his poem, The Thought-Fox. He draws the creature out – the fox prints in the snow are the dark marks that fill the white page. His fox is both real and imagined, forever wild and yet captured by the words of the poem that evoke it.

We couldn’t find a better symbol for the art and action of creative writing: a roguish, rule-breaking, risk-taking thought-fox.

Sign up for a course with Picaresque Press and discover where a thought-fox can lead you.

Curious stickybeaks and nosy Parkers

B_fowl

Wednesdays* are perfect for the heady joy of satisfying our etymological curiosity. And what better to consider than curiosity itself…

Curiosity comes from curious which evolved from the Latin cura to care. Lots of interesting developments have wound their way into the language from cura: cure and curate and curator and curio, just to name a few.

From around 1883, booksellers referred euphemistically to erotica and pornography as curious books or curiosa, deriving perhaps from the 18th century meaning that something curious was ‘exciting curiosity’.

The exclamation of “Curiouser and curiouser” in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland in 1865 was attributed by Lewis Carroll to her being so surprised she forgot how to speak good English. Never fear. Like other contributions made to the language by Carroll (which include chortle, galumph, snark, vorpal and the concept of a portmanteau word) it is now commonly used and understood (according to the Oxford Dictionary) to mean ‘increasingly strange’.

It’s a well-known fact that curiosity is inimical to felines, so keep your cats off the keyboard as we delve a little deeper with the help of the Online Etymology Dictionary.**

Busy now means only being continually occupied, but it once also meant being anxiously careful and potentially prying or meddlesome and so a busybody was a person who snooped and pried into things that worried them, but were not really their business (or busyness, if you want to go old school).

‘Snoop’ is from 1832 American English, possibly from the Dutch snoepen ‘to pry’.

‘Pry’ is much older (c.1300) from prien ‘to peer into’.

The use of ‘nose’ as a verb, rather than a noun, in the sense of prying or searching something out, is first recorded in the 1640s, and being nosy meant having a prominent nose for centuries before it was used as an adjective to mean inquisitive in 1882.

To call a nose a beak has also been around for centuries and stickybeak is an Antipodean word to describe being inquisitive. You stick your beak into something in Australia or New Zealand and you are, ipso facto, a stickybeak. The act of sticking said beak can be referred to as stickybeaking or you can say, to justify your curiosity about something, ‘I just wanted a stickybeak.’

It doesn’t necessarily carry negative connotations, but dismissing someone as ‘an old stickybeak’ is like saying they’re a busybody – it’s pretty derogatory.

When I was a kid, with the surname of Parker, if someone showed an excess of curiosity, they were a stickybeak. You may imagine my horror, aged 8, when our substitute teacher told someone off in class for trying to eavesdrop by calling them ‘a nosy Parker’.

Not cool, man. Not cool.

After I lived down the shame (never more thankful that my nose is delightfully retrousse or I would NEVER have lived it down) I looked into what ancestral Parker had doomed us all to being thought stickybeaks.

The popular theory was it had been Matthew Parker, Archbishop of Canterbury at the time of Queen Elizabeth I, who was to blame. Or it may have been that parkers were park keepers and given to snooping when illicit couplings caused the shrubbery to rustle. It was an occupational hazard (or perk, depending on perspective) in the same way that people out ‘walking their dog’ engage in dogging.

But the first recorded use of nosy Parker isn’t until 1907, well after the heyday of the archbishop and of Parkers being necessarily associated with parks. So it remains unclear just which Parker was to blame for marking us all as nosy.

And now to digress from etymology and swerve into genealogy:
Despite the huge numbers of Parkers in England, the story in my family was that we were descended from the archbishop, and, since the family came from Cambridgeshire, also from the Parker after whom Parker’s Piece in Cambridge is named.

I was curious.

So, when I lived for six months in Peterborough, in Cambridgeshire, I took the opportunity to do a genealogy course and to trundle down to Cambridge to have a stickybeak in the shire records office. I found no link to the archbishop nor to the Trinity College cook who kept cows on Parker’s Piece.

But I did find that my 10 x great-grandfather was Thomas Hobson.

Hobson ran an inn in Cambridge which hired out horses, to students and academics especially. His practice was to rent out the next available horse – regardless of what horse was wanted – because then the fastest horses didn’t get overworked. The saying that you have ‘Hobson’s choice’ – take it or leave it – is said to have been popularised by the poet John Milton, who as a Cambridge University student, wrote mock epitaphs for Hobson.

So I can’t claim to be a ‘proper’ nosy Parker… but I can claim a remote genealogical link to having a cavalier approach to other people’s wishes.

Hobson’s daughter, Elizabeth, married a chap called Fookes or Fowkes or Fox (they were a little slapdash with the spelling back in the late 1500s) who, before he died, sold his property of Anglesey Abbey to Hobson. When Elizabeth married Thomas Parker, Hobson gave it to them as a wedding gift.

Somehow, despite Anglesey Abbey now being a National Trust property, I never managed to pay it a visit, although I did get to the little village of Bottisham nearby, where lots of Parkers lived and died in obscurity before, in three generations my ancestors moved back to Cambridge, then to London and then to north Queensland.

One day, though, I’ve promised myself I’ll also get back to Cambridgeshire and have a stickybeak at Anglesey Abbey.

* Wednesdays are perfect for words – honestly, it’s a thing.

** An invaluable resource for writers of historical fiction who don’t want anachronistic words in their book.

More than just steam and giggles

willow 1

What’s the deal with Steampunk?

I’ve been pondering the question since having a fabulous time at the Goulburn Waterworks Steampunk Victoriana Fair last month. I love Steampunk as a sub-genre of speculative fiction – it’s a blend of science-fiction and historical fiction (with a dash of fantasy) inspired by the visionary writings of Jules Verne and H.G. Wells.

It’s a reimagined Victorian Era where the Industrial Revolution has gotten more than a little carried away, run off with Mad Science and spawned all sorts of steam-powered gadgets.

It’s delightfully anachronistic, full of dirigibles and derring-do, corseted women who (ironically) won’t be bound by societal expectations, bold chaps with monocles and mutton-chops and, sometimes, werewolves in top hats.

When it wants to go wild it goes west – to the frontiers of a very Weird Wild West. Or it heads south. Way, way south. Check out the work of two talented and creative writers I know, who’ve done amazing things with Antipodean Steampunk – Geraldine F Martin and Felicity Banks.

It is, as the Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences succinctly puts it – “modern technology, powered by steam and put in the 1800s.”

steampunk 6But it’s also much more.

It’s fabulous clothes and costuming. It’s engineering challenges and arts and craft and decorative styling. It’s music, film and art. It’s a whole lot of fun.

What I find amazing is the way it’s slipped sideways and, unlike some genre / pop culture fandoms which have fiercely loyal but very niche adherents, Steampunk has gone… well, I guess mainstream is too strong a word.

Still, Goulburn is far from alone in hosting an annual fair. Every year you can steampunk (I’m sure that’s a verb) at Lithgow’s Ironfest, the Hunter Valley’s Steamfest, Adelaide’s Steampunk Festival, Georgetown’s Steampunk Tasmania and more.

Across the Tasman, they’ve not only got fab festivals, there’s Steampunk HQ, an incredible museum and gallery, in Oamaru – recognised as the Steampunk capital of the world.

Check out The Unorthodox Society for the Elucidation of Retro-Futurism’s deliciously exhaustive Australia and New Zealand Steampunk Directory for links to groups, festivals, bands, artists, costumiers and, well, pretty much everything.

willow 2

I don’t know why it’s so popular, other than that it’s a fun, creative way to play the game of ‘what if?’. And that’s a game that every writer, reader, dreamer and creative person loves to play.

So, why not give it a go?

Get your top hat goggled and your parasol poised, and I’ll see you at the next Steampunk soiree. Toodle pip!

Wrap it up, I’ll take it!

banner_book launchesI’ve had two weeks to recover and I’m ready for my close-up… so here’s what I got up to at Conflux 14 (theme: the unconventional hero) over the October long weekend.

Panels!

Hero cliches and how to make or break them: I had fun talking clichés with Leife Shallcross and Sam Hawke, ably chaired by Ion ‘Nuke’ Newcombe of Antipodean SF. I may have pulled on my ranty-pants, mentioning the gendered nature of the etymology of ‘hero’. Which segues nicely to…  

Conflux panelAbusive alpha males and sassy Mary-Sues: when heroes go bad: I chaired the feisty panel of Keri Arthur, Annabelle McInnes and K J Taylor who discussed self-indulgent author inserts, alpha jerks, and why male Mary-Sues aren’t seen as entirely unbelievable. (Hint: it’s because of the patriarchy).

The Unconventional Romance: I enjoyed this genre-bending, boundary-pushing session with Freya Marske chairing Leife Shallcross, Keri Arthur and Jane Virgo.

Session on Pitching: There were plenty of dos, don’ts and for-the-love-of-God-nos in this session with Abigail Nathan of Bothersome Words, editor Lyss Wickramasinghe and Paula Boer.

Unconventional Hero’s Journey: The panel of Gillian Polack, Dave Versace, Simon Petrie and Abigail Nathan, chaired by Rob Porteous, took us over Campbell’s Hero Journey and discussed other ways of looking at a hero.

Workshops!

I ran a sparsely populated workshop on the hallmarks of heroism on the Monday morning after the conference dinner. Alas, many of the registrants decided another hour of sleep recuperation trumped the appeal of discovering the secrets of how to write protagonists a reader would love.

I went to a fabulous workshop on writing fight scenes with Aiki Flinthart. Not only was it full of fantastic information on the differences between men and women fighting, both psychologically and physiologically, and the differences between trained and untrained combatants – all of which was super useful – I also got stabbed. Well, I volunteered to pretend to be someone who had no combat training and no experience of body contact sports. I was very convincing in the role. My reaction was entirely typical of a clueless victim – shriek and flail uselessly!

I also enjoyed a workshop on worldbuilding with Russell Kirkpatrick looking at maps and how the inclusion of a map in a book influences the way readers see the world.

Book launches!

The Book of Lore by Rob Porteous:  Rob did a great job of being the convention’s unconventional MC and also launched his book on writing speculative fiction. This is the distilled wisdom from several years of running the CSFG Novel Writing Group which can be used as a ‘how-to’ guide to writing your own novel.

80,000 Totally Secure Passwords that no hacker would ever guess by Simon Petrie: Simon is a master of puns, cool book titles and thought-provoking science fiction. He launched this best-of collection at Conflux.

Iron by Aiki Flinthart: I can’t wait to get the chance to read this first in a trilogy tale of a world without iron and fossil fuel… and what happens when someone discovers an iron ore deposit. Plus (squeee) everyone who bought a book at the launch got a lovely little sword bookmark.

AHOK launchA Hand of Knaves: In a fittingly dangerous crowd of ne’er-do-wells and ruffians the latest CSFG anthology was introduced by Rob Porteous, launched by editors Leife Shallcross and Chris Large, illustrated by Shauna O’Meara, read from by Dave Versace, Eugen Bacon and myself and sold to the heaving masses by Angus Yeates and Simon Petrie. As well as that hand of villains, other contributors wielding pens for the signing included Helen Stubbs, Maureen Flynn, C H Pearce and Claire McKenna. It was a lot of fun.

But perhaps the best part of any convention (and Conflux 14 was not so unconventional as to be an exception) was meeting the most fabulous writerly peeps: I spent time with my tribe and made new friends. Thanks to the Conflux team for pulling everything together. Glorious stuff!

What’s your poison?

MonkshoodWe were talking about poisons at a book launch* last week and one of my learned colleagues mentioned that the traditional witches’ brew garden plants just aren’t as deadly as you might think. Is that the fault of an exaggeration of the plants’ toxicities or, as another writerly polymath suggested, improved health levels making people more likely to survive poisoning? I don’t know the answer, but it did get me thinking about (da da daaa!) PLANTS THAT KILL!

Being Australian I’m used to the notion that, at any given time, approximately 36% of my immediate environment is actively trying to kill me, but that’s mostly creepies and crawlies and slithery things** rather than large carnivores and plants. Not that some of the plants aren’t up to the task – anyone who has tangled with a Gympie Gympie*** is familiar with its charming brand of ‘god let me die now so the pain will end’.

The Dendrocnide moroides is also known as the stinger or suicide plant and arguably has the most painful sting of anything in the world. The recommended treatment is to wash the area with diluted hydrochloric acid (1:10) because, I guess, acid is preferable to this monster. It’s related to the giant stinging tree but has a more potent neurotoxin. Apparently, the pain can last for years…

Some of our continent’s nastiest inhabitants, though, are ornamental imports brought by early colonists. Like many children around the world, I recall being warned away from Oleanders and Angels Trumpets. The latter, Brugsmansia, has pretty flowers, the perfume of which can cause respiratory irritation and nausea in some people. They are closely related to Datura – Devils Trumpets – but the Brugsmansia’s flowers are pendulous rather than erect. Both types of ‘trumpet’ belong to the nightshade family.

The alkaloids in Brugs (as fans of the plants call them) will mess you up. Some people, looking for a natural high, have contemplated their choices (lick a cane toad**** or drink some trumpet tea) and opted for the tea. I’m definitely not recommending the former, but nasty things happen when you ingest trumpets belonging to devils or angels. Bad, bad trips – the hallucinogenic effects have been described as terrifying rather than pleasurable and in one case the ‘acute psychotic condition’ led to self-amputation of the tea drinker’s penis and tongue.

So that’s a no.

Having grown up in the subtropics, it wasn’t until I went to the UK that I saw a lot of the deadly plants that my reading of fairytales, the classics, fantasy fiction and historical non-fiction like Nicholas Culpeper’s Herbal had led me to believe would just about leap out and attack me. You know, the sort of classic witches’ weeds of deadly nightshade, hemlock and henbane, mandrake and monkshood, wormwood and foxglove.  

I found it a little confronting to discover that the gardens of Edinburgh were a veritable pharmacopeia of death – atropine, aconite, digoxin, taxine and cicutoxin, just to name a few. Those lovely monkshood in the banner pic? Photographed in Edinburgh, as was this snowy graveyard yew.

Yew in Edinburgh graveyard

But none of these plants, nasty as they are, can compete with (da,da,daaa!) the TREE of DEATH!

The manchineel (Hippomane mancinella) or manzanilla de la muerte, which means little apple of death, grows in and around the Caribbean. On some islands they put warning signs on the trees to let people know that the fruit, sap and leaves are highly toxic. (Check it out!) Just standing beneath one, when it rains, will cause skin blisters. I think Flaubert overstated the danger of the tree in Madame Bovary where he referred to its ‘poisonous shade’, but not by much.

Truth, as ever, is stranger than fiction. But it makes me think about how ludicrously nasty a fictional plant would have to be, just to compete with some of our world’s fabulous flora. And all of this really makes me want to get back to a short story I started writing about four months ago about malevolent apple trees.  Not that I’ve gone all ‘hello, my pretty’ with poisoned fruit. Just those yellow and red stripes…that’s Nature’s warning, right? Like tigers and wasps.

Plus, I think doing some writing would be safer than a spot of gardening, all things considered.

 

*the book, City of Lies by Sam Hawke, features a family of poison tasters.

**and the sun, of course – mankind’s ancient enemy….

***much worse if you do this in Gympie, thereby cubing the level of your distress as well as running the additional risk of mercury poisoning.

****the Bufo marinus has hallucinogenic sweat. And is gross. You could not pay me enough to lick one.